Even if you're paying for the wedding, that doesn't give you the right to do these things.
Mother-of-the-bride should never do:
If you’re reading this, you’re probably:
a) about to get married, or thinking about getting married, and your mother’s giving you some trouble.
b) the mother-of-the-bride, and your daughter or a close friend or family member has just linked this article to you. With very good intentions, we’re sure.
Either way, we get it. Mothers can get very… involved when it comes to their children’s weddings. And we can’t blame them. If you’re the mom in question, you have plenty to be excited about—you might even be more excited than your kid about their big day!
But for the sake of your child, don’t get carried away.
Remember: It’s HER day. NOT yours.
To help you understand your role better, here are a few things the mother-of-the-bride should never do.
(These rules apply to the mother-of-the-groom as well—don’t think you ladies are spared from rules of conduct.)
1. Disapprove of everything
Mothers of the bride (and groom) are notorious for being too domineering and pushy. You might very well know best; lemon yellow and chartreuse might not be the best colour motif. A garden wedding might be a horrible idea.
But if your daughter’s heart is set on certain things, you should learn to keep your thoughts to yourself and just let her enjoy making her own choices. If you really have to speak up, offer your opinion gently and sparingly.
2. Demand to invite your friends
Weddings are expensive AF, so we can’t blame your daughter for wanting to keep the guest list smaller than you’d like. And even if you’re paying for the wedding, you should respect your daughter’s wishes for a more intimate event.
3. Take on too many tasks
Your daughter will probably appreciate your help, but don’t bite off more than you can chew. It’s better to take on just a small, manageable task than to overpromise and underdeliver.
4. Criticize your daughter’s looks
Your daughter deserves to feel like a million bucks on her big day. Don’t ruin it by criticizing her weight, her looks, her dress, her hair, etc. If you think your daughter could stand to lose a few pounds, encourage her to eat better and exercise instead of focusing on the way she looks.
5. Complain about the in-laws
No matter how terrible the groom’s family may be, you need to stay cool and keep quiet about it—at the very least during the wedding. The wedding is the worst place to voice your opinions because you’ll never know who might be listening. Best bite your tongue and keep the peace.
6. Refuse to act your age
You’re the mother-of-the-bride, not a bridesmaid. Nobody wants to see you grinding on a groomsman on the dance floor, or getting totally sloshed at the reception. That’d look bad if anyone did that, but it’s doubly humiliating for your daughter if you’re the offender.
7. Wear white
Or ivory, or champagne, or anything close to white, for that matter. And unless your daughter has given you the go-signal, don’t try to match the bridal party. You have your own special role in this wedding—and it’s to support your daughter, not be the star.
What other things do you think mothers-of-the-bride should never do? Let us know in the comments!
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